UCD Elections, Crazier Than *insert least favorite US Candidate Here*

Before we get to the bulk of the blog I have some business to attend to. Due to miscommunications the first half of my spring break plans have fallen through. I now have a non-refundable ticket to London that can be changed to a ticket to anywhere in Europe I want to go. If any of my readers (preferably people I know) are in Europe anywhere between the 7th and the 15th, or would enjoy coming to Europe that week, let me know and I'll come visit. Doesn't have to be the whole week, just a few days. 

Now, on to my new favorite reason to go to class, the UCD student government elections!

I first became aware that it was election week when millions of posters with peoples heads began staring at me as I walked to class. Each poster follows the same pattern, oversized headshot taken a bit too close superimposed over a picture of an iconic UCD location. Alright, I thought, this could be interesting.

I then get to class and sit down in the lecture hall. Suddenly there is a person in front of the room yelling at warp speed at all of us. Turns out they are a candidate campaigning and are desperately trying to get their statement in before class begins. Unfortunately between the accent and warp speed I hear nothing other than "judge me based on the shirt that I'm wearing". So I do. 

At this time I begin to take stock of the flyers lying around on the desktops. Everyday there are different handouts and special offers for clubs littering the room. I usually grab a bunch for paper cuttings as the paper is excellent thickness. So I noticed that todays flyers are different colors, which obviously makes me happy, so I go to grab some. I then see those same giant heads staring up at me. Ah, election flyers.

I now present to you a run down of my favorite candidates and what their flyers promised they will bring to UCD

In a failing effort to make this blog less google-able I won't use last names.

First I want to note how the two female candidates include pictures of themselves on the back in poses that are most likely going for "sexy". Both fail. As much as I hate being a feminist....I can't help but be mildly offended at this tactic

Next we have Conor, running for Welfare Office. Conor says we should vote for him because his moms are lesbians

Then there's Rory. I was having trouble finding anything too hysterical about Rory's flyer, until I turned it over and found that he had illustrated one of his points with stick figures holding signs. Touche, Rory, touche.

Moving on to Conor. Different than Conor number 1, running for the same position. No word on his parents. Conor is running on the platform that he will put toasters in every building and increase condom distribution. Not going to lie, I have become an absolute toast addict over here. Bryn Mawr should follow Conor's plan.

Now for Paul. I like Paul, I've heard his speech twice. Unfortunately he got his classes mixed up and gave the same speech to the same class twice. I don't appreciate people with poor time management skills. Paul also lays out his goals for each individual school at UCD. Each school, such as Arts and Sciences, has specific goals that he wants to reach involving courses, professors, etc. His goal for engineering? More couches. 

Moving on to Scottie. I havn't found a leaflet for Scottie yet. But his name's Scottie! So I think he has my vote.....speaking of which I don't think I get a vote. 

Finally theres the kid who showed up at my door last night. He is the kid with the biggest head on all of the posters, yet I do not know his name. I opened my door and he smiles and says "Hey! I know you, you're in my English class" before I could say "no...I'm definitely not.." he launched into his campaign speech. Across the hall another American was getting the same speech from one of this kids cronies. The two Irish kids rapidly talking in such a confined tiled space was like noise entering one ear and rattling around like the last kernel of unpopped popcorn. I'm still uneasy answering my door, afraid I'll be thrown into the vortex again. 

I handed in my midterm this morning, so now I'm ready to go enjoy the weekend. 

I should also note this quote as a follow up to my last post

While giving my presentation

Me: The largest forestry company in Ireland is......*long pause*

Class: *snicker*

Random kid in the back of the room: Come on! You can do it! 

Me: Quel....cha?

Class: HOORAY!!!! 

Professor: heyyyyyyy, not bad!

I then cracked a joke about America and did a dance about a tree....I was on fire. My group was appalled. 

EDIT!

WOW! I forgot to post about my FAVORITE candidate, Gary. Maybe I thought he needed his own entry.

Anyway, Gary is running for what I can only assume is the social committee. His main platform? If elected he will get Eiffel 65 to perform at UCD. Yes, the people who sang that Blue song in 7th grade. You might say "Well Marianna, maybe they're still big in Europe" Nope, he feels that our current acts are too new and exciting, he feels that we need to bring the 90's back.