VENICE!

Daily Update: In class today my professor told us "Many medieval royal families believed themselves to be descended from a woman and some regal animal...say a polar bear". I am seriously wondering if I have picked up a drug habit and just not noticed because every time I go to class crazy things happen. In my other class today, one of my professors said "Marianna, what can you tell us about Irish economic policy in the 1960's" and then chuckled when I starred back with my mouth agape. For the record, this was NOT a class on Irish economic policy.

Also, last night I went to hear Michael Palin, of Monty Python fame, speak. If you ever get the chance to hear him talk, definitely go. Insightful and witty, it was an excellent hour and a half. 

Lets travel back to the simpler days of last week. Come with me as we head to VENICE!

Venice: Day 1

I had left my friends the night before claiming that I had to get up early for my trip to Venice. I had thought my train was at 9....it wasn't until 11. Oh well, still early for me! When I got to the train station my friends were there as well as they were planning on heading to Pisa. One of them said "Didn't you say your train was leaving early. I chuckled and quickly changed the subject. 

The train ride to Venice was good, one can never get enough of the scenery of Italy. Coming out of the train station in Venice one is face to face with the grand canal. The sun was out in full force and after 5 days in rainy Florence I was definitely excited to see it. I couldn't remember my hotels address so I popped into an internet cafe to look it up. Here was my first warning of whats to come. In Florence the internet was free at my hotel, or if I needed it while I was out only a Euro for a half hour. In Venice it was 2 Euros for 15 minutes. Ohhhhh balls, Venice is going to be pricey. I check my e-mail and find out that the hotel I'm staying at is LITERALLY 3 doors down from the internet cafe. I step outside and shake my head. Ohhhh Marianna, wayyyy to go. The giant sign outside of the hotel did nothing to quell my feelings of stupidity. 

I check in at the hotel, no adorable Italian boys at this one. My room is fine but the lights don't turn on. Oh well, I think, this problem should solve itself by tonight (I seriously think this way...don't judge me). 

I head out to explore. I decide to walk down the main pathway until I reach St Marks Square, the main area of the city. Unfortunately I chose to follow the signs to the square rather than consult a map. Unfortunately the people of Venice are jokesters and have put up fake signs to the square hoping to attract customers to their restaurants instead. After turning down numerous alleys I finally realized that all of the official signs had the same look. I made it to St Marks and was immediately overcome with shock and awe....at the amount of people there. I was in Venice when I was 12...in November. I don't remember too many people being there. HA! It was a United Nations of tourists. One of the biggest attractions of St Marks are the pigeons which will land on you if your offer them food. When I was 12 I thought this was the coolest thing ever. When I was 12 I came home from Venice with a mysterious rash that covered my entire body and stayed for 2 months. I did not feed the pigeons.  The "cool" thing to do, however, seemed to be to run through the throngs of pigeons and frighten them. Alright, I see how this is entertaining, except when one runs through pigeons then scatter, totally not caring for whatever is in their way. Meaning I would occasionally be enjoying a nice walk through the square when dozens of terrified pigeons would come flying my way, leading to me screaming and ducking to the ground. Meanwhile honeymooners laugh hysterically because clearly there is nothing more enjoyable in life than making a pigeon fly. I glare at them and wish that every pigeon in the square decides to use them as a toilet. 

Wow, this just got very hostile, very quickly. 

Anyway after wandering the streets I decide to head back to my room. On the way I stop at the supermarket to pick up some water and dinner. The supermarket was supercrowded and with everyone pushing I became flustered and grabbed whatever popped into my head in an effort to get the hell out of there. When I left the market I realized that I had bought myself beer and Oreos. I stood there pondering the ridiculousness of the situation and all I could think was "well...this will be one of those stories you tell for the rest of your life". It got better when deciding I needed an actual dinner I stopped at the Panera Bread-esque place across from my hotel because they advertised a "salad bar'. Having been deprived of vegetables for so long I eagerly ran in. The Italians and I have differing opinions on what a salad bar is. So this night will forever go down in history as the night my dinner consisted of Oreos, beer....and a bowl of cabbage. I went back to my hotel room and discovered that my lights still didn't work. Thats odd...usually things fix themselves when I don't do anything about it. So I tell the lady at the desk about it. "Well did you use your key?" she asks. What? She comes upstairs with me, takes my key and sticks it into a slot in the wall....the lights come on. Oh.....why didn't I think of that. 

Venice Day 2

The desk lady at the hotel suggested I take a tour of the islands of Venice. I had originally scoffed at the idea, saying 'well I'm only here for a day and a half, I want to get all I can out of the city, I won't have time for boat tours". After spending the morning practically punching my way through the crowds of tourists I decided a boat tour would be fantastic. When I met my tour group that afternoon I had a silent chuckle to myself to see that I would be joining 7 middle aged couples and a man that looked uncannily like Ben Franklin. But he wasn't the real Ben Franklin, I'm 99% sure. heh heh. 

Anyway, this boat tour is hands down the best decision I've made on this trip. First we went to Murano, where the famous glass is made. We watched a demonstration and then explored the show rooms. Very nice. We then continued on to my favorite part of the trip, Burano, which is famous for its lace. Stepping off the boat onto this Island immedately took my breath away. All of the houses are painted in bright colors to make them stand out. Laundry waves in the breeze as children run around the town square playing soccer. It is right out of a movie. We are given forty-five minutes to explore the island and it's lace shops. I am quickly waved into one and have to undergo numerous sales pitches. The lady tries to get me to buy a lace tablecloth. Ha, I laugh, "I don't even own a table". I continue to chuckle, the lady looks offended. We drop down a degree to table runners. Sadly again I try the table joke, again it fails, surprise surprise. We finally reach the doilies, which she half heartily tries to sell me. I am about to wave her off when suddenly a vision pops into my head. A vision of the most beautiful Easter basket at the annual blessing of the Easter baskets. One covered in handmade Italian lace, purchased in Italy. HA! It' the ultimate trump card. For anyone who's confused, I wait all year for the Saturday before Easter when we bring our baskets to church to be blessed. For some it's a religious experience, for me it's the ultimate competition. Nothing makes me happier than having an old lady look at my basket, then look back at her basket with a dejected sigh. I need this lace.

(Also, I nearly typed basketball 5 times over the past paragraph)

I figure its also good to have so that years from now I can yell at my children "HEY! Be careful with that, it's handmade Italian lace!" Always good to prepare for the future.

After buying my lace I continued to explore the island. I didn't have a watch so I just made sure that Ben Franklin was in my sightline at all times. By the end of the time he began to notice and was creeped out. Hey, you decide to fashion yourself off of a historical figure you're going to have to deal with creepy situations. 

We then continued on to Torcello which was more rural than the other two islands. Much of the island is farmland, except for the oldest church in Venice. A very relaxing walk. 

We went back to the main part of the city as the sun as beginning to set over Venice. Very beautiful. I began my walk back to my hotel, stopping for another bowl of cabbage. Hey, I said it was ridiculous, but it was also delicious and cheap. Unlike everything else in Venice. 

My time in Venice was short, but worthwhile. Highly recommend it. Tomorrow my journey to Rome.

Venice
Obligatory canal with bridge shot
St Mark's
Feeding pigeons
I thought it was nice
Thats just AWESOME
Enjoy your rash, buddy!
This guy made a glass horse in less than 2 minutes
Ahhhhh, Burano
Children playing soccer in the town square...awesome

Sooooo pretty


Torcello
It's easy to love life while watching the sun set over Venice

Finishing Up Florence

Daily Update: I did try to go to class today. I really did. But when I got there it was just a couple of people taking pictures with the Easter Bunny. I don't remember dropping acid today, but that moment made me wonder if maybe I had....

Anyway, lets finish our adventure in Florence

I had planned on spending my third (or fourth? What day are we on again...) day in Florence visiting the museums. I knew I was going to have to wait in line to see David and the Uffitzi, so I decided to pick just one. After weighing my options I decided David could wait and that the Uffitzi gave me more bang for my buck. So I set off at 8:30 to stand in line. By 8:30 the line had already spread out the door and down the main concourse of the museum. Balls. I stood there patiently for awhile, admiring the graffiti written all over the walls of this otherwise regal building. Thats one thing about Italy, they LOVE graffiti. Everywhere, doesn't matter how important or old the building is, its scribbled with statements such as Massimo a Fabiola with a  heart around it, drawings of genitalia and the ever popular F*** AMERICA. Ahhh, I feel so welcome. Although studying the political statements left by bored Italian youth forced to wait in line with their high school tour groups is fascinating, I realized I had been standing there for 2 hours...and moved roughly five feet. Screw this, I'm not wasting time in my precious Florence watching high schoolers make out. Thats another thing, there are high schoolers EVERYWHERE in Italy, Italian, French, German, American, all of them and they are all constantly making out with each other. Not cool, my friends, not cool. 

So I leave the line and head out to get some coffee. I decided to suck it up and deal with my caffeine addiction by taking up coffee....and I now have a coffee addiction. Its not good. The rest of the day was spent visiting Florence's churches. The Duomo was a bit of a let down after Siena's cathedral, but still impressive. The two basillica's were by far the highlights of the Churches of Rome day, both tucked away in unimpressive buildings but containing gorgeous interiors. 

My "you're a bad person" moment of the day came when I was walking back from my favorite gelato place. A man in a Micro-sized vehicle took a turn too sharply and flipped his car on his side. Everyone rushed to help him and after it was determined that he was fine, helped to extract him. Meanwhile I stood there, eating my gelato like this was some type of street performance. I slowly began to edge backwards out of the situation before someone called me out on my douchebaggery. 

Today was also the day that I was followed by my first Italian male! Very creepy, but I feel like no female can travel alone in Italy without having a "one time this creepy Italian guy followed me" story. I managed to shake him by hanging out next to the Italian Police in front of the Duomo. Mother Nature then took care of the rest by opening up her skies to reveal a torrent of rain which scattered everyone in the area towards shelter. Mother Nature must have gone to Bryn Mawr, she has no time for creepsters. 

Day....4? 5? 18?

Today I was supposed to meet up with my friends Marissa and Eric from UCD, who were traveling around Europe for the two weeks. Unfortunately my phone was still being a spoiled brat and claiming it was stolen so I couldn't use it to call them. I managed to get Marissa's number from a friend on Facebook and set off to navigate the Italian pay-phone system. HA. An hour and a half later I finally get the phone to call Marissa however I discover that her phone is turned off and her voicemail not set up. Oh well, I'll wander, maybe I'll run into them, maybe I'll just have another day to myself. So again I set off down the streets of Florence. I run into a kid I know from high school, we both give each other the awkward "wait.....isn't that" look before we lose each other in the crowd. I keep walking, I see a girl I know from Bryn Mawr. Still no Eric or Marissa. At this point I'm waiting for the inevitable run in with the Syp's when I round a corner and literally run into Eric. Well, thats Florence for you. They're joined by Eric's sister Jen and together we go to find "the best gelato in Florence" according to their guidebook. Eh, I had had better gelato....but still, gelato is gelato! It was nice to hang out with some people after spending the past few days on my own. We tried tripe, which is apparently a Florence specialty. They were disgusted....truthfully I didn't find it that bad. After breaking for an afternoon nap we joined up again and met for dinner. I had to peel off after that as I was getting up early to head to Venice the next morning. As I walked back I savored my last night in Florence....I'll be back, thats for sure.

As if I needed another reason to love Florence...their police drive micros!
Jen, Eric and Marissa try tripe
Marissa, Eric and Jen in front of the Duomo

Me at the Duomo

I enjoy the idea of soccer (and I really do, look for an another entry in a few days

I love it here
Beautiful

My Bus Tour of Siena

First of all, Happy Belated Easter to all of my readers. I hope everyone had a nice, relaxing day. I enjoyed an Easter pizza party with some friends to celebrate. I also took advantage of the delightful Irish holiday that is Easter Monday by walking to the nearby mall and eating at Bennigans...by far the most surreal experience of the trip.

ON TO SIENA!

Earmel had informed me during my 2 minute crash course on Florence that all museums would be closed on Monday. I decided this would be a perfect day to take a day trip to neighboring Siena. On the train I watched the sky turn from almost blue to grey. Aw man! By the time we got to Siena the sky was back to blue again, hurrah! I skipped off the train and went to buy a bus ticket into town. Here’s where I had my first problem, in Florence EVERYONE speaks English. In Siena…..not so much. I asked the ticket guy for a bus ticket and he printed one off for me. I asked him where to meet the bus and he said right outside. Good, we’re doing well here. I asked him which bus I should take as 7 busses met outside….he told me to take the one right outside. Alright then. Well Siena’s a fairly small city, all busses must end up there eventually. So I hopped on the bus that everyone was getting on, assuming that most people wanted to go from the train station to the city center. NOPE! They were all going to the hospital. After they get off at the hospital a new batch of people get on. Alright, we must be heading back to the train station, I’ll try again. We proceed to climb higher and higher into the hills of Tuscany until we reach what appears to be the end of the line in a small residential area. Ohhhh balls. I get off the bus and ask the bus driver how to get to the train station, if theres another bus coming. He tells me that there is a toilet in the bar across the street. I thank him. Side note, I hate thanking people in Italian because my “Grazi” always comes out sounding more like “YAHTZEE!” and I fear the day I mess the two up.
Another bus pulls in behind my bus. It’s sign says that it will be going to the train station. Excellent. I hop on that one. I begin to worry, though, when we continue out climb into the hills of Tuscany rather than head back towards the bus station. More and more people get on, this bus is either going to city center or the hospital. We reach a point that could possibly be the city and I was going to take a risk and check in out when a surge of people get on trapping me in the back corner of the bus. I can’t see through the crowd of people blocking the windows, but I’m pretty sure that was the city. But alas, I must continue on. I keep hope that this bus will end up at the train station, but my hope is quickly fading as the suburbs turn to farmland. Finally we reach the end of the line, NOT the train station as promised. I see the driver staring at me through his mirror…he would like some peace and quiet for his break I assume. So I get off and start walking down the road….maybe the train station is jut down the road? After about a block I stop, take stock of the situation and decide to suck up my pride and go plead to be led back to the train station. I’m frustrated and going to call this day a wash and just head back to Florence. I walk back to the bus with my head down. Wordlessly and without looking me in the eye the bus driver opens the door as if to say “yea…that’s right…you have NO clue where you are, get on the damn bus”. I struggle to ask if he’s going to the train station. He smirks. Starts talking in Ittalian. I nod and say “so….si?” He sighs and says “Si.”. I retreat to the back on the bus. So we begin our second journey together. I’m disappointed I’m not going to get to see Siena, it sounded great. Suddenly I realize that we’re back at that stop that could be the city. I hop off the bus. The driver begins to says “ah, no….” but gives up and just looks at me and shakes his head.
It was in fact the stop for the city and I’m incredibly glad I got off. The city was absolutely beautiful, although the skies were starting to open up by the time I got there. I wandered up the (steep) hilly streets until I made my way to the main piazza. There I grabbed some gelato and people watched for awhile. Lots of American high school students. I made my way over to the cathedral. It was AMAZING. Most beautiful church I’ve ever seen. I must have spent an hour in there just wandering around taking it all in. I began to wander back to the piazza when I decided to pick myself up some Tuscan wine for later the evening. It was there that I realized I didn’t remember where the bus stop was. Oh come on, Marianna, you are seriously failing at life on this trip.
So I asked a police man who said “Ah! It is easy! You go straight until you reach the Bank of Italia, ok!??!” Ah, easy “Non, non, after that you take a left” oh, ok, can do “Then you follow that street and take a right, from there you will need to walk toward the supermarket, then left then straight then around the corner, ok?” …….ok. So I head out, assuming there will be more people along the way that I can ask directions from. There were, but no English speaking people along the way. As I’m walking the skies open and a flood of rain like I’ve never seen before begins to pour onto me. I am SOAKED. But I keep walking. Finally I find two American girls and ask them. I didn’t know they were American, so I go up and say “ummm, scuzi, uhhh, bus station?”. They laugh and say “haha, we’re American, lets look in our guidebook” to which I respond “Oo, I want one of those”. They look at each other, I realize in all of my soaked glory I look and sound ridiculous….and they can understand my ridiculousness. Oh well. They send me in the right direction where I finally find the glorious bus station and the sun comes out. At the train station I race to make the 4:17 train back to Florence, hopping on as the doors are closing. Since I was pressed for time I didn’t hold my ticket in the stamper long enough and my ticket wasn’t “validated”. When the ticket collector comes by he begins to yell at me for not validating it. I put on my saddest face and say that I was in a rush and it must not have stamped and that I was sorry and wet. The conductor sighs…oh well, he says, next time remember. He turns to the American guy across the aisle from me, his ticket isn’t stamped either, the kid tries my routine. The conductor won’t have it and demands that the kid pay him fifteen euros for a fine. I refuse to look that kid in the eye for the rest of the train ride. I enjoy being a girl.
For 3 long hours this was my view of Siena...
Until I found this


Streets of Siena
The most beautiful cathedral EVER
Well...thats one thing the dollar is good for...guilt donations
This is the ceiling...this picture cannot do it justice

Too perfect

London and Florence Days 1 and 2

I don't even know where to begin. Two amazing weeks, tons of stories. Well....lets try!

I'm going to break it up into a series of blog entries. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back and join me for a recap of my spring break. ONWARD!

Day 1: Dublin-London

I had crazy miscommunications and mix-ups in plans and ended up with a ticket to London. Oh well, that's the glory of study abroad, you can say things like "Well I might as well go to London!". I get to the Dublin airport early in the morning and am silently freaking out. I don't fly well...at all. Plus all of the check in and security lines always disorient me. Airports are not fun places. I go to check in and I am convinced that my bag is above the 10 kg carry on limit. I am about to check it when the lady says "you do know that your bag is only 5 kg's right?" Wow. Well that saved me 18 euros, but I'm worried, did I pack enough (I'll answer that question right now...no.) I move on to security. I put my bag on the belt and the guy asks me "are you carrying any liquids or illegal items" I, being an absolute IDIOT decide this would be a good time to try my comedy routine and say "not that I know of" as soon as the words leave my mouth I try and push them back in. WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING!?!?!? Security man was LESS than amused. I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to fly ever again. Oh well, I think theres a ferry from England to Dublin if I need it to get back....Sidenote this is not the first time that response has gotten me in trouble. Many of you have heard the story of the time I broke my foot and on my way to getting it x-rayed the technician quietly asked if I was pregnant. I didn't understand him and too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself I simply said "ummm, I don't know, maybe". I REALLY need to get a new stock answer. 

Anyway, I was allowed to fly but only after giving up my hairgel. A quick 45 minute flight and I was in London. They made me turn off my phone on the plane, however, and when I turned it back on it asked for my PIN. Whoops....I don't know that. I tried entering my usual PIN, but it wasn't right. My phone shuts off and refuses to turn on. Apparently it thinks it's been stolen. This is the beginning of my two weeks without a phone. 

Once in London I manage to find Talia, my friend from Bryn Mawr. She, along with her friend Lauren, helps me find my hostel so I can put my stuff down. My hostel looked like it was right out of a TNBC Saturday morning teen sitcom. Neon lights and 18-24 year olds running around everywhere. I couldn't help but crack up at the ridiculousness. 

The three of us spent a nice night eating fish and chips and exploring the banks of the Thames. I had to return to the hostel fairly early, though, as I was leaving for Florence early the next morning. 

Day II London-Florence.

I flew into Pisa on Ryanair. I can only describe flying on Ryanair as a mixture of flying on the Titanic or the NYC subway. No one has an assigned seat, instead you stand in a clump in a waiting area. Then they open a door and people run through it out on to the tarmac where they fight for seats. Alright, its a lot more civilized than I make it sounds...but still, not the greatest system ever. Once you get on everything is bright yellow with ads everywhere. Not going to lie though, very good flight. We flew over the mountains and other gorgeous European scenery, always enjoyable. 

In Pisa I got on a train to Florence. About an hour's journey through the Italian countryside, I could deal with this. By the time I got to Florence it was getting late and rainy. I came out of the station and found my hotel a block away. After grabbing some dinner I retired to  my room to enjoy television for the first time since I left the states. It didn't matter that it was in Italian, I just stared at it. I passed out at 7 and woke up at 11 to the Daily Show...in English! sweet! I promptly passed out again, I was exhausted. 

Day III Florence

I checked out of my hotel and moved to my other hotel (Again, crazy changes in spring break plans mean crazy hotel arrangements). I'm in love with this new hotel at first site. I walk in and Earmel, a 20 something year old Italian guy greets me. Upon finding out that it was my first time in Florence he takes out a map and proceeds to outline my entire stay in the city. Bus routes included. I'm smitten. My room isn't ready yet but I could put my bag behind the desk and head out to enjoy the city. 

I am blown away by the beauty of Florence. I don't know where to go first. I find myself just standing and starring. I first head over to the nearby cathedral but find out that it is closed. Oh well, I climb up the bell tower instead and am rewarded with panoramic views of the city. I'm in love with this city.

I began to wander the streets with no particular direction. I crossed the river and began the climb towards San Minato church. Before beginning the hike I stopped in a tiny pizzaria for some pizza. I ended up staying an hour and a half having a conversation with an Australian man about America's founding fathers. He mixed up Abe Lincoln and George Washington, how dare he. Nice guy though. I went up the wrong street to the church, but that was the best mistake I've ever made. While i ended up taking the long way, I got to explore the tiny winding streets of the hills of Florence. It looked right out of a movie. The church was another masterpiece. Lit only by candlelight, it filled me with an incredible sense of peace. Very nice after two days of traveling. Upon exiting the church you get a great view of the city as well. Nice. 

It was 3 by now and I was beginning to crash and have a headache. I head back to the hotel for a nap. While napping I have a series of vivid dreams in which people enter my hotel room and yell at me for not doing things. Including Nicky and Shannon, yelling at me for not attending the St Patricks Day punch party, Eric and Tara yelling at me for not making 200 signs within an hour, and Mom for not walking the dogs. Way to ruin my happy place guys, seriously. I wake up in a sweat and realize that I havn't had caffeine in 2 days, i must be going through withdrawal. They don't really do tea in Italy and I'm not a coffee person. Uh oh......I head back out into the city to soak in the evening beauty. After grabbing a gelato and watching the city in evenings dusk, I head back to the hotel and my precious television and shower. I should note that I took advantage of having a shower where the hot water never runs out by taking at least 2, sometimes 3 (and on one occasion 4) showers a day. Bliss. 

I'm so in love with this city

My navigation mistake led to this view

San Miniato The Duomo and the rest of the city

View from the bell tower of the cathedral (Duomo)

Ponte Vecchio
The beautiful winding roads of Tuscany

Tomorrow: My bus tour of the Siena suburbs!

Quick Update

LOVING ITALY!

I am keeping a paper journal of everything that i want to remember, so expect an epic blog post sometime in the next week and a half.

Italy is amazing....I cannot stress this enough

Try Not To Cry

Random thought of the day-I've been told a disturbing amount of times that I have a Jersey accent. We're going to need to fix this.

Alright, so I leave for Italy (by way of London) tomorrow. I will be gone for 2 weeks. That means two weeks of NO blog entries as part of the glory of this trip is I will not have a computer, or internet access. We're going to break this horrible addiction.
Here's a list of Marianna approved time passing activities for you to do during the time you'd usually read the blog.
-Paper cutting
-Kilt stalking
-Toast making
-Tea Biscuit eating
-St Patricks Day "celebrating"-Yes, it's true, I will NOT be in Ireland for St Patricks Day. But I will be in Rome for Holy Week which I hear is like St Patricks Day on speed. So I think I win. Plus I think I win Catholic pilgrimage points, which I am in dire need of.
-Newsletter writing
-Squash
-Easter Egg dying-My friends and I dyed some Easter Eggs tonight, slight problem, Ireland doesn't sell white eggs. So we dyed the brown ones. They turned out....icky? Each one turned to this strange pinkish brown color. Oh well. We had a good time

If you can't find enough time wasters in that list then I'm sorry, I'm usually good after paper cutting.

Also, some stories from my class where we do the presentations
Presenter: 54% of American's believe in leprechauns

entire class turns and looks at me and my roommate

Me: Well I haven't found one yet, but that hasn't stopped me from looking.....

Professor: Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but in the US you guys commute to work by plane? Right? Not so much the train, you really fly everywhere.....am I wrong?

silence while i contemplate whether or not it's worth it to lie for the sake of having a good story

Me: Welll......

Roommate: NO! NO we don't!

Why I Can Never Go Back to Tesco

A simple trip to Tesco, thats all I asked for. The promise of lasagna burned in my brain and belly. I had a quick list of 8 or so items that I had to get, so I grabbed those and ran to the line. To my horror each of the lanes had at least 3 people in them buying CARTS full of food. Oh well. I resigned myself to what LOOKED like the shortest line and began to wait. As the other lines began to move around me, I began to question my choice as my line had stood still for 5 minutes. The one next to me only had one person, so I eased my way over there. As I joined the line, I noticed about 4 feet behind me was a cart filled to the brim with food. No one was manning the cart and it wasn't in any particular line so I figured it was part of the display.
Ha, wrong.
This story is now going to sound like a Dane Cook bit, I assure you I have made NONE of this up.
As I'm standing in line I hear someone come up behind me and sigh with disapproval. Uh oh. I think someone might have had that cart. I don't turn around as I HATE confrontation. As long as I don't see the persons face then I can't be sure that they were the person I may have just cut. Out of the corner of my eye I see the cart inching up next to me. Ohhhhh balls. The lady is getting agressive. This is going to be a race. I grab my basket with both hands, ready to use it as a weapon if neccessary. Just when I think we've reached a passive agreement, the cart nudges into my leg. Oh no....oh no she isn't. She couldn't be. Yes, yes she is. The woman was using her cart much like an ancient roman chariot and trying to literally force me out of the line. NOW IT'S ON. I focus all of my energy into being a brick wall. Eyes on the cashier, focus like a fox. As the person in front of my finshes up, I take a giant step forward and block the aisle with my body. Once I am safely in the check out lane I take a glance back to find a stare of icy cold death coming from a somewhat old woman. Victory is mine
But its not done.
I put my 8 items on the belt (she should have let me go anyway, I had 8 items, she had roughly 129). The cashier looks at what I'm buying and says "oh, you must be a student". Why? I don't know, I was buying lasagna items, not ramen. I smile and say yes, up at UCD. I'm anxious to get the hell out of Tesco before the woman pulls a gun out on me. The cashier stops ringing me up and says "oh! An American! Great!" I start freaking out, the woman behind me is pacing and muttering, the cashier has completely stopped checking me out and I am stuck in the aisle between someones cart and the woman who wants to kill me. Me-"Yes, America"
Cashier-"New York?"
Me-"Yea! Right outside New York"
Cashier-"I'm part of this group, and our leader lives in New York"

oh no. no no no no no

me-"oh...good?"
Cashier-"we're sort of like a family, only a really big family in 80 different countries"
me-"that sounds nice"
Cashier-"Let me give you my leaders number for when you go back"

no no no no no no no

me-"oh well"
Lady behind us-*fuming*
me-*small cry of fear*
Cashier-"really, he'd be GLAD to hear from you. We love new people"

by the grace of god she finished ringing me up at that point. I grabbed my recipt, said "Thanks but no. I really like Ireland, I think I'm just going to stay here, probably not going back to New York" and RAN

I just wanted some lasagna.